Lefty Limericks by RWiley

2012-01-13T11:51:00.000-05:00

432. Nah, Nah, Na, Na, Nah Nah.... Hey Hey, Goodbye.

2009-01-21T08:13:00.005-05:00

in washington it was a grand display

and perhaps, america's brightest day

obama was sworn in

but the best was when

a helicopter took george bush away

431. Goodbye, So Long, Farewell, and Good Riddance.

2009-01-20T10:25:00.004-05:00

a right wing wacko, known as phil

said, financially it's been all downhill

the last eight years

simply disappears

and, we can just blame it all on bill

430. Check Your Stocking, George.

2008-12-25T09:03:00.003-05:00

eight years of george bush was obscene

and his administration, far from green

so, on this holy night

to you voters on the right

may the coal in your stockings, be clean

429. Incoming! INCOMING! Size 10.

2008-12-14T18:51:00.004-05:00

when george bush bid the iraqis adieus

a tv reporter from the baghdad news

cried, bush you suck

then made dubya duck

and narrowly missed him with a pair of shoes

428. Senate Seat For Sale: Inquire at Governor's Office.

2008-12-12T08:05:00.006-05:00

illinois governor, rod bla-goy-o-vich

campaigned using the honesty pitch

but, there was nothing there

under that mop of hair

but one crooked son-of-a-bitch

427. I Am a Lefty Liberal and I Drive a Chevy !

2008-12-05T08:49:00.003-05:00

will ford, gm and chrysler now cease

or will they become the next golden fleece

will the congressional scrooges

deny the three stooges

if so, may they now rust in peace

426. How I Feel About Bailing Out Wall Street.

2008-11-28T09:29:00.006-05:00

after finding his 401k in a slump

an investor, just a bit of a grump

tore up his spreadsheet

went to lower wall street

and cried, jump you fuckers, jump

425. Big Auto Asks for Big Subsidy.

2008-11-21T07:30:00.004-05:00

the auto boss to the congress he met

said, corporate welfare i wanna get

uncle sam can own us

subsidize my bonus

and then pay for my private jet

424. A Well Dressed Running Mate...Priceless.

2008-10-23T09:47:00.005-04:00

I am on extended travel. This will be my last post until late November when I hope to return to the U.S. and President Obama.

sarah's campaign, is less than botchless

and her victory belt, still notchless

and with no regard

uses their visa card

for red leather and silky red crotchless

423. Lipstick on a Pig Can Be Expensive.

2008-10-22T07:41:00.004-04:00

i can run, but i am such a mess

said sarah with a wink and finesse

i will take your stand

and one hundred fifty grand

for make up, hairdo, and a new dress

422. For The Kind of Change That Matters !

2008-10-21T07:29:00.004-04:00

from the crowd, one of his friends

a single lady with conservative trends

ignored all discretion

shouted just one question

for john, boxers briefs or depends

421. Bill Press Used This One On His Show to Sum Up Joe the Plumber. Thanks Bill !

2008-10-16T16:31:00.007-04:00

joe the plumber, his time had come

but he really should have kept mum

he fudged his facts

avoided his tax

and forgot to get a license to plumb

420. Tricky Dick Nixon Had Plumbers, Too !!

2008-10-16T08:03:00.003-04:00

john mccain who couldn't be dumber

went searching for a campaign drummer

the best he could do

was a racist old shrew

and a guy named joe the plumber

419. My Republican Congressman is a Socialists !!

2008-10-15T08:15:00.006-04:00

a congressman named john mchugh

brought socialism to the rescue

but his bailout bill

was the bitter pill

that let corporations again, frisk you

418. An Elephant's Ass is Bigger Than A Donkey's.

2008-10-13T09:11:00.002-04:00

as the donkeys campaign with class

with dignity and a bit of sass

sarah resorts to hate

and racial bait

and the elephants show their ass

417. And Thus, The Legend of John McSame.

2008-10-07T10:12:00.003-04:00

a pickup truck cowboy, by acclaim

yes, the president driven to shame

fed presidential hope

to a wandering dope

and broke in the maverick, john mc same

416. Republicans Have Low Expectations.

2008-09-29T13:41:00.006-04:00

a republican fox news spinner

who loves an alaskan moose skinner

witnessed sarah's show

with expectations so low

that if she didn't puke she's the winner

Time Out For A Thought.

2008-09-26T12:41:00.003-04:00

Last night, I chuckled at Dave Letterman as he joked about John McCain not showing up. He asked, "Where's Sarah?".

I was excited because, I knew.

It seems that after her appearance at the UN, Sarah had a few hours left in the Big Apple so they decided to shove her in the "Cash Cab" and send her up to Columbia to get one of those Doctorates of Law just like Obama's.

She missed the first three $25. questions and she is wandering around Manhattan somewhere in the lower 60's.

415. John McCain Screws his Courage to a Fence Post.

2008-09-26T12:27:00.003-04:00

the presidential debate is on

hollered campaign worker, yvonne

organize this hovel

someone get a shovel

and go out and dig up john

414. Repubs Trade Their Lame Duck for a Dead Duck.

2008-09-26T10:05:00.004-04:00

it's a campaign not to be outdone

making history, let's have some fun

she is female and bold

john's covered with mold

and the very first cadaver to run

413. Sarah is Making McMoose Burgers Out of John McCain.

2008-09-26T09:40:00.006-04:00

sarah palin has the ability to seduce

owns a gun and will put it to use

which is why old john

fell for her con

if you don't believe me, ask the moose

412. Behind 7 Points, Time Runs Out, He Drops Back, PASSES....

2008-09-25T09:29:00.004-04:00

of grampa mcsame you should be wary

his suspending the campaign is scary

it did surpass

the longest pass

in the history of football, or even mary

410. DRUDGE Reports A Las Vegas Economic Slowdown.

2008-09-24T07:59:00.003-04:00

a gamblin' party man, named joe

said, the economy must be quite slow

what went down in vegas

and stayed in vegas

happened almost two years ago

409. We Should be Able to Spend More of Your Money.

2008-09-22T17:50:00.004-04:00

at the end of the fiscal season

i don't pay taxes, here is the reason

joe biden is psychotic

it is not patriotic

and i don't want to be accused of treason

408. Send in the Clowns.

2008-09-22T12:42:00.004-04:00

a bush excuse-maker named gus

said greenspan is of no value to us

when wall street was smitten

he was working with clinton

so, let's throw him under the bus

407. Do You Know Where Your Financial Advisor is Now?

2008-09-21T09:51:00.006-04:00

a short-selling broker, named sonny

said, i filled my coffers with honey

selling stock i don't own

to a sucker named joan

and got rich on her retirement money

406. George Bush, Humanitarian, Saves the Rich People.

2008-09-20T08:15:00.004-04:00

bush's friend, a capitalist, named dale

said, no way, to a minimum wage scale

no regulating occurrence

or government interference

unless i should happen to fail

405. Have You Changed Your Mind, Yet?

2008-09-20T07:44:00.003-04:00

an undecided voter from madrid

said the campaign has turned putrid

they flirt with the sublime

but the bottom line

it is still the economy, stupid

404. Brought to you by The United States of America, Inc.

2008-09-19T09:35:00.006-04:00

it's entitlement on a big scale

but conservatives will never wail

when a crooked exec

gets a blank check

and a welfare cheat goes to jail

403. Todd Palin Refuses To Testify In Troopergate.

2008-09-19T08:01:00.003-04:00

alaska's distinguished first dude

yes, a title that is rather crude

may follow his spouse

into the white house

along with the rest of his brood

402. Lobbyists are Running His Campaign.

2008-09-19T06:36:00.003-04:00

with his economic partners in crime

john mc cain won't waste any time

bringing back the days

of the soup line craze

and buddy can you spare me a dime

401. He Was 'Oinking Her Sister !

2008-09-18T06:09:00.003-04:00

sarah palin in a big-time blooper

played the role of a family snooper

she canned a state hire

who refused to fire

her brother-in-law, an alaskan trooper

400. Do They Even Have Pigs in Alaska?

2008-09-17T16:56:00.009-04:00

recent issues have become quite comic

making voters rather gastronomic

these discussions are crude

so, let's change the mood

from sarah's lipstick to what's economic

399. Bring it on Joe. Let's Get Dirty !

2008-09-17T16:45:00.004-04:00

a swing voter from up in port lyden

says, i'm not sure with whom i'm siden'

i will make a choice

and speak my voice

after she mud wrestles with joe biden

398. God Bless the American Voter!

2008-09-17T16:25:00.004-04:00

on wall street, it's another dark day

the future of the market seems gray

the solution sounds blurry

but, not to worry

they will make all the taxpayers pay

397. Damn ! I Never Went to Kindergarten.

2008-09-17T16:21:00.005-04:00

bringing kindergartners into the fold

john mccain commercials have told

that they did kill

an obama bill

teaching sex ed to a five year old

396. The Taxpayer's Golden Parachute.

2008-09-17T16:14:00.006-04:00

a c.e.o. who was paid several million

caused his shareholders to lose a zillion

uncle sam stepped in

to cover his sin

and now he is worth more than a billion

395. Beware ! The Trojan Moose.

2008-09-17T06:34:00.003-04:00

an evangelical republican, named kara

says you must cast your vote for sarah

she believes in creation

denies sex education

and will preserve the george bush era

394. It's the Economy, Stupid!

2008-09-16T08:23:00.004-04:00

john and sarah give us the impression

that there is no economic recession

but, the song they sing

has a familiar ring

like hoover before the great depression

393. BUSH, PALIN, MCCAIN 2008 !

2008-09-16T08:03:00.005-04:00

employment is declining nationwide

but, economic problems are denied

it's the republican plan

to spend all they can

while your retirement investments slide

392. Sarah Palin and John McCain? Do Tell!

2008-09-15T19:57:00.004-04:00

a wasilla town gossip named lauren

claims the mayor was hardly borin'

she said, i swear

sarah had an affair

but it certainly wasn't foreign

391. As Reported by Steve Doocy, FOX News.

2008-09-14T14:50:00.001-04:00

governor palin says she knows the score

and has diplomatic experience galore

'cause, she took a vacation

in a foreign nation

and russia is right next door

390. Maverick? My Ass!

2008-09-14T08:16:00.007-04:00

john mccain, a flip-flopping humdinger

is courting the wacko right winger

by changing his position

and making the transition

from maverick to dirty mudslinger

389. I Wonder What is Going on in Iraq?

2008-09-14T08:03:00.006-04:00

while john and sarah toil

to bring their lies to a very high boil

the big energy flock

is now swarming iraq

to divvy up the spoils of oil

388. Grandpa McCain and the Moose-skinner.

2008-09-12T08:25:00.006-04:00

john mccain's running mate is a fluke

and his judgement makes me want to puke

if the old man chokes

and he ups and croaks

they will give sarah the keys to the nuke

387. You Can Put Lipstick on a Pig, But it is Still George Bush.

2008-09-11T07:20:00.005-04:00

during a recent campaigning gig

obama used a cliche that is big

the wing-nuts were pissed

claiming sarah was dissed

but, what about the feelings of the pig

386. How Stupid Will Voters Be?

2008-09-09T08:53:00.008-04:00

john mccain in a desperate push

found a candidate with a cute little tush

but, will voters endorse

this new trojan horse

concealing four more years of george bush

385. You Should See Her in Camouflage!

2008-09-03T09:27:00.006-04:00

an alaskan governor, named sarah

said, choose me mr. mccain, i dare ya

tho my daughter's knocked up

i could be vice prez, yup

all it will take is a little mascara

384. Ann Coulter Still Thinks He's a Fag!

2008-08-11T09:50:00.004-04:00

john edwards, who had a sexual relation

caused a maniacial media sensation

it involved no assaults

just two consenting adults

while george bush raped an entire nation

383. Driving Under the Influence of Karl Rove.

2008-07-25T06:48:00.004-04:00

robert novak, a douche of a man

said, i get my thrills when i can

on my hood he was spread

but was still not dead

so, i hit the accelerator and ran

382. Quit Whining and Pay For Your $5.00 Gasoline.

2008-07-11T07:06:00.006-04:00

one of mccain's budget policy refiners

and subsidy to big oil designers

phil gramm, says it's mental

the economy, quite gentle

and the nation, just a bunch of whiners

381. Open Mic Night With Jesse Jackson.

2008-07-10T07:49:00.004-04:00

jesse jackson, no if , ands, or buts

has often been caught with his sluts

but, this religious clown

claims barack talks down

so, he wants to cut off his nuts

380. Bush Violates His Own Trade Ban.

2008-07-10T07:23:00.003-04:00

as part of the bush anti-terrorism plan

there was an axis-of-evil trade ban

but, during this fuss

they gave the bullshit to us

and the semen, they sold to iran

379. The G8 Discusses World Hunger.

2008-07-09T07:52:00.003-04:00

while at the japanese summit big deal

leaders discussed a food crisis appeal

and all of it was done

while they were having fun

and feasting on an 18 course meal

378. John McCain Extends Bush's Social Security Raid.

2008-07-08T07:57:00.003-04:00

by the way his economic plan looks

john mccain and his republican crooks

will steal money from babies

and retired old ladies

in an effort to balance our books

377. When George is Home, is it a Shit House?

2008-07-06T07:52:00.004-04:00

texans who will do anything to win

have committed another racial sin

and of course, it's crass

and typically low class

raising money with a black house pin

376. Have You Kissed Your Hummer, Today?

2008-07-06T06:34:00.003-04:00

a macho joe, who couldn't be dumber

pays four ten per gallon, a bummer

tho he drove with sass

he's wasted his gas

and sixty thousand dollars on a hummer

375. Bush Surveys the Damage.

2008-07-05T10:15:00.004-04:00

soon, bush will be finished with his fun

and ride off into the setting sun

but we must still endure

as he takes the grand tour

to survey the damage that he's done

374. What the #*%K is a Centrist, Anyway?

2008-07-04T08:04:00.005-04:00

a liberacon by the name of jake

neither right, nor left, a fake

said, i prefer detant

and i say what they want

when getting elected is at stake

373. Larry and David and Republican Family Values.

2008-07-02T07:13:00.005-04:00

homos and lesbians, they must never marry

claims the team of david and larry

but craig is a queer

vitter keeps his whores near

proving republican hypocrisy is scary

372. Holy Negotiations! Appeasement Works.

2008-06-27T07:46:00.003-04:00

george bush, while wearing his smirk

announced that he's an appeasement jerk

north korea, a nuclear power

blew up a cooling tower

proving that negotiations can really work

371. Glock! The Choice of Congressmen, Everywhere.

2008-06-26T13:22:00.006-04:00

a united states senator took the floor

and proposed a new rule, heretofore

the scotus, be damned

and screw uncle sam

ya gotta check your guns at the door

370. China Adopts the George Bush Clean Air Initiative.

2008-06-26T10:51:00.005-04:00

i was recently in china, bejing

doing the american tourista thing

at the site of the games

my throat was in flames

and i couldn't see a fucking thing

369. The McCain Campaign Needs A Terror Attack to Win.

2008-06-25T18:38:00.003-04:00

a former lobbyist, charlie r. black

now mccain's chief political hack

said, if some terrorist pup

would come blow us up

we could pick up the votes we lack

368. I have a Filipino-American Chef!

2008-06-25T07:14:00.004-04:00

to president gloria arroyo, a jewel

dubya said, filipino-americans are cool

they have certain appeal

when they cook me a meal

and clean shit from the bottom of my pool

367. McCindy McCain Attacks Michelle for "Not Loving America", But..

2008-06-20T08:27:00.004-04:00

as a war hero, john mccain survived

but, how will his campaign be revived

they will criticize michelle

but, oh what the hell

he didn't love america until deprived

366. Bush's Petro-Cartel Almost has Iraq's Oil!

2008-06-19T11:13:00.003-04:00

it has been an excruciating, long run

but the iraqi war will soon be won

since, a deal with shell

and exxon, as well

is very close, and almost done

365. George Bush Accused of War Crimes by Retired General.

2008-06-19T08:18:00.005-04:00

an army major general, antonio taguba

instead of a whistle, is blowing the tuba

on the bush war crimes

and the torturing slimes

in afghanistan, abu ghraib, and cuba

364. Destroying the Environment is Easier Than Conservation.

2008-06-18T08:17:00.002-04:00

john mcbush, also called, john mcsame

i sometimes forget his real name

is starting to boast

we must drill off the coast

and the environment is now fair game

363. Dick Cheney Thanks the Nation.

2008-06-17T07:43:00.004-04:00

dick thanks all the american truckers

and other oil customers, the suckers

but, not the obsessed

who did protest

or, the rest of those liberal fuckers

362. His Trip Wasn't Even Significant Enough to Protest.

2008-06-17T07:19:00.004-04:00

thru europe like the travelocity gnome

george said, farewell to paris and rome

then, after his rant

they presented him a plant

and told him to please go home

361. How High is the Water, George!

2008-06-16T07:54:00.004-04:00

cedar rapids is drowning in a flood

and, once again, his fema is a dud

yet, george is overseas

eating caviar and brie cheese

while the midwest gets covered with mud

360. A Witness to the Cheney-Rove Crimes Passes On.

2008-06-15T09:44:00.005-04:00

there was a hush as st. peter calls

a great analyst from the n.b.c. halls

we will miss you, tim

but i wonder, if in

heaven, you will throw your softballs

359. The Supreme Court Protects Us From George Bush!

2008-06-15T07:46:00.003-04:00

scotus scalia, no constitution defender

and a noted humans rights pretender

has lost the decision

on the habeas corpus division

making it harder for george bush to render

358. Tampa's Confederate Flag is the World's Largest.

2008-06-15T06:54:00.003-04:00

nope, this is not just some johnny rebel gag

and these southern boys are gonna brag

as this campaign begun

they raised into the sun

the world's largest confederate flag

357. They Claim it is Soft and Cuddly and A Memento.

2008-06-14T20:31:00.005-04:00

the racist will now start their drama

as fox news calls michelle, baby mama

and there's much hoopla

about the couple in utah

who are now selling a sock obama

356. A few People Still Believe.

2008-06-14T13:57:00.005-04:00

a wing nut from north waddington

thinks the republicans rise with the sun

he watches fox news

for his political views

and beavis and butthead for fun

355. Who is That Dick With the Obamas?

2008-06-14T08:35:00.005-04:00

mr. obama, in a political rouse

along with his intelligent spouse

is headin' to town

to boot out the clown

and clean up that filthy house

354. Scotty and The Lying President.

2008-06-14T08:27:00.004-04:00

if your realize now, what they knew

that the neocons have given you the screw

if you continue to push

the lies of george bush

does that make you a liar, too

353. Dana and The Tough Questions.

2008-06-14T07:59:00.010-04:00

bush's new blond liar, ms. perino

may be hot as jalapeno

but, the biggest decision, made

by this white house aid

is whether to have, latte or cappuccino

352. It's Senator McSnooze!

2008-06-13T20:34:00.002-04:00

john mc cain said, i must confess

i take a nap to relieve my stress

whether watching ballet

a very boring play

or while presenting a political address

351. Is That You Pinocchio? Or George Bush?

2008-06-13T20:30:00.002-04:00

it's a revelation, we all now know

that scotty saw dubya’s nose grow

it was one hot december

george failed to remember

indulging in a sweet line of blow

350. The Republicans and the Oil Slicks.

2008-06-13T20:24:00.002-04:00

republicans, and their oil slicks

are unaware of most conflicts

it is evil to them

if done by a dem

to their party, just good politics

349. Jenna is a Big Girl, Now.

2008-06-13T20:19:00.002-04:00

Jenna, who succumbed to romance

found this rich boy in a trance

and, this party tough

stayed sober enough

to give her daddy the very first dance

348. Desparation and John McSame.

2008-06-13T20:14:00.002-04:00

big oil and the republican campaign

wanted a man with bush's brain

from amongst the cheer

a voice from the rear

said, let's stick them with old man mc cain

347. My Congressman, John McHugh (R) Voted Against Mom.

2008-06-13T20:09:00.002-04:00

my constituents are still in my palm

said john mc hugh, remaining calm

there’s not much left

for a republican theft

so i may as well vote against mom

346. The "Internets" and Cheap Shots.

2008-06-13T20:04:00.002-04:00

said a small man of little acclaim

i get off on the name-calling game

with spineless it's synonymous

but i remain anonymous

'cause i am too scared to give a name

345. Stimulate This!!

2008-06-13T19:58:00.002-04:00

george bush sent a stimulus check

to a man with bills up to his neck

he was poor, but alas

he spent it all on gas

so he could fill up his old winter wreck

344. Dick Cheney's Mission Accomplished!

2008-06-13T19:55:00.004-04:00

an oil executive, who was slick

met with cheney, yes, that dick

he turns and he says

with dubya as prez

we have millions of pockets to pick

343. Rush Limbaugh Calls For riots in Denver.

2008-06-13T19:51:00.005-04:00

rush limbaugh, who is less than quiet

a big fatso, who refuses to diet

thinking he was foxy

downed some oxy

and advocated a democratic riot

342. Human Rights Violations Start at Home.

2008-06-13T19:47:00.004-04:00

the dalai lama, a religious man

wants a human rights violations ban

he’s extolled in excess

by the american press

while bush plans to bomb iran

341. Republicans Ignore Their Own Sleaze Bags.

2008-06-13T19:42:00.005-04:00

a christian senator, david vitter

with whores did like to fritter

but, he refused to admit

he’s a republican shit

and, unlike spitzer, he's no quitter

340. Hillary Joins the NRA.

2008-06-13T19:37:00.005-04:00

a cute intern, from washington

said, bill, let’s have some fun

in a childish rant

bubba said, i can’t

‘cause hillary now, has a big gun

339. Unemployed Weasel Will Work for Food.

2008-06-13T19:32:00.006-04:00

no firm would take him, ya know

for Gonzales, it's a very big blow

so, he tortured a man

on cable tv’s c-span

and called it a reality show

338. The Pope Stays Home to Wash His Hair.

2008-06-13T19:29:00.004-04:00

in washington, they did hope

to hold a bash for the pope

but, benedict, no sinner

refused to have dinner

with bush, the white house dope

337. Randi Rhodes Suspended for Talking Like a Republican.

2008-06-13T19:24:00.004-04:00

mark green, who is usually top drawer

is a liberal democrat and more

but, he blew his fuse

when randi did use

the “f” word in front of whore

336. First, a Moron, Now a Hothead!

2008-06-13T19:18:00.007-04:00

the republican had to explain

when his candidate went insane

pleased don’t be alarmed

just be charmed

it’s our nominee, john mcain

335. Holy Moses! He's Got A Gun.

2008-06-13T19:12:00.005-04:00

actor heston, from the hollywood land

took a second amendment stand

and, the undertaker had fun

while prying that gun

from charlton’s cold, dead hand

334. How Super Delegates Will Decide.

2008-06-13T19:07:00.003-04:00

senator cheatum, a super-delegate

and decider of the candidates’ fate

said, don’t be alarmed

for i can be charmed

by promises, and pieces of eight